about spoilt princesses (way backdated ~~)
i read about the above topic not long ago on a friend's fb link and this post has been sitting here for some time when procrastination sets in and lingered like a cheap perfume you can't get rid of haha. oh well i usually lose my train of thoughts thereafter. but fine i'm abit jet lagged after my trip and funnily i vaguely recall this word being used in one of the arguments during our drives across central karoo, south africa's arid desert.
if i remember correctly that article spoke about a nation of spoilt princesses. apparently the adjective was used because i presume the entire female species was deemed by a bereaved male that they were going against mother nature by simply choosing not to pro-create...we're edu-cated we've got the earn-ning ability when we've got all that we want (note through our own ability) we can so do without a man and getting tied down by a family at this juncture of our lives. but it's wrong you see. religion tells us otherwise because children of eves, in case you haven't digested the bit of forbidden fruit you've sunk your teeth into, you were never born to provide. a virtuous woman submits and nurtures. dutifully so. it's like what i always say dear god give us free will but not the mind to think for ourselves. we're becoming too smart for our own good. once we have the power to decide and sway our fate and determine how we should spend the hard-earned money we've earned (for eg. on domestic helpers to lighten our load) that makes us unwilling mothers? then does the division of responsibilities in the household mean we can't handle hardship? or (don't tell me *gasp*) is it only asians who feel this way?
right. it's more 'ethical' to hire part-timers and nannies because you know they're paid more per hour so we feel less guilty? and you feel better already because they aren't staying in the 'windowless' room and constantly available 24/7 so that they play fetch the slippers with you. bulls. you know what i think? we're not spoilt. we're just clueless. yep the entire nation. not just females. regardless of what ns does to inflate the male ego prematurely. and that's because psychologically it's the longest period of time boys are away from their mothers and any spoon-feeding. which makes them feel like they've turned fiercely independent breaking free from this constant vigilance on them since birth. so don't bring it on about the spoilt princesses. we have a nation of pampered boys as well. don't tell me that a guy doesn't have to ensure sending a girl home when it's late. in those days it's call gentlemanly behaviour and i guess in singapore it's a tiny island we don't make you detour an extra hour because of it. sure i could make my way home but it's definitely nice to know that the offer means you're being taken care of. humanely so. some people just don't have to live with their conscience when things happen till it's too late. i remember a girlfriend back in adelaide who sent everyone home because she had a car and she always waited until each person entered the gate before leaving. btw that's called good manners too and well brought up. i have guy friends i barely know who sent me home regardless because these nearly extinct people don't think much of such efforts simply because it doesn't take alot. and people texting me to make sure i reach home safe. stop it already, you guys are totally spoiling me! ^ _^
hmmm where was i? i'm particularly sensitive to this word too because i was called spoilt in those days when i had my dad chauffeuring me to school. what? just because i don't take public transport i'm spoilt? wtf? do i know where i stand in life? yes. do i know when to be appreciative and how give respect when it's due? yes. do i take material things for granted? no. do i demand for the impossible? no. do i insist in my own way blindly? no. i hate this disguised halo effect and those who think they have every right to demean others and can't seem to envision anyone else out there facing the same problems or empathizing with theirs just because they feel like the victimized protagonist in their sob stories. ok totally deviated and besides the point. what i'm saying is you don't get spoilt because of better treatment. it's when you start taking these things for granted...
so we are just clueless. we're brought up this way. with a lot of parental guidance, dominating our ultimate decisions in life. we're brought up witnessing the lives of our parents which we don't ever want history to repeat itself on us. come'on look at our poor mother. slaving for her husband half her life. slaving for us another half of her life and slaving for our grandchildren the extended half of her life? do you reckon we'd want to be housewives willingly with no compromise or help to offload the burden we've seen descend on our mothers? it's not like 'oh with today's pampering we can't achieve what they've achieved'. it's more so of 'oh hell no way i am going through what she went through'. and why should we give up our youth for the next generation when we're still clueless about the life we want to lead. that my dear is what i call evolution of thoughts!!
plus we are still living off our parents. this doesn't give us any maneuvering space for independence nor reason to self-examine the path we've taken to know exactly what we want. yet we've seen the worst case scenarios and read enough about broken families and failed marriages. the rational ones don't submit to love easily. they look at a potential candidate and consider if this man can provide a future for the family. what's wrong with that? they choose to remain single rather than to depend on a person they deemed unworthy. what's wrong with that? should they then get married for the sake of queuing for a hdb flat? now tell me what is wrong with that?
if i remember correctly that article spoke about a nation of spoilt princesses. apparently the adjective was used because i presume the entire female species was deemed by a bereaved male that they were going against mother nature by simply choosing not to pro-create...we're edu-cated we've got the earn-ning ability when we've got all that we want (note through our own ability) we can so do without a man and getting tied down by a family at this juncture of our lives. but it's wrong you see. religion tells us otherwise because children of eves, in case you haven't digested the bit of forbidden fruit you've sunk your teeth into, you were never born to provide. a virtuous woman submits and nurtures. dutifully so. it's like what i always say dear god give us free will but not the mind to think for ourselves. we're becoming too smart for our own good. once we have the power to decide and sway our fate and determine how we should spend the hard-earned money we've earned (for eg. on domestic helpers to lighten our load) that makes us unwilling mothers? then does the division of responsibilities in the household mean we can't handle hardship? or (don't tell me *gasp*) is it only asians who feel this way?
right. it's more 'ethical' to hire part-timers and nannies because you know they're paid more per hour so we feel less guilty? and you feel better already because they aren't staying in the 'windowless' room and constantly available 24/7 so that they play fetch the slippers with you. bulls. you know what i think? we're not spoilt. we're just clueless. yep the entire nation. not just females. regardless of what ns does to inflate the male ego prematurely. and that's because psychologically it's the longest period of time boys are away from their mothers and any spoon-feeding. which makes them feel like they've turned fiercely independent breaking free from this constant vigilance on them since birth. so don't bring it on about the spoilt princesses. we have a nation of pampered boys as well. don't tell me that a guy doesn't have to ensure sending a girl home when it's late. in those days it's call gentlemanly behaviour and i guess in singapore it's a tiny island we don't make you detour an extra hour because of it. sure i could make my way home but it's definitely nice to know that the offer means you're being taken care of. humanely so. some people just don't have to live with their conscience when things happen till it's too late. i remember a girlfriend back in adelaide who sent everyone home because she had a car and she always waited until each person entered the gate before leaving. btw that's called good manners too and well brought up. i have guy friends i barely know who sent me home regardless because these nearly extinct people don't think much of such efforts simply because it doesn't take alot. and people texting me to make sure i reach home safe. stop it already, you guys are totally spoiling me! ^ _^
hmmm where was i? i'm particularly sensitive to this word too because i was called spoilt in those days when i had my dad chauffeuring me to school. what? just because i don't take public transport i'm spoilt? wtf? do i know where i stand in life? yes. do i know when to be appreciative and how give respect when it's due? yes. do i take material things for granted? no. do i demand for the impossible? no. do i insist in my own way blindly? no. i hate this disguised halo effect and those who think they have every right to demean others and can't seem to envision anyone else out there facing the same problems or empathizing with theirs just because they feel like the victimized protagonist in their sob stories. ok totally deviated and besides the point. what i'm saying is you don't get spoilt because of better treatment. it's when you start taking these things for granted...
so we are just clueless. we're brought up this way. with a lot of parental guidance, dominating our ultimate decisions in life. we're brought up witnessing the lives of our parents which we don't ever want history to repeat itself on us. come'on look at our poor mother. slaving for her husband half her life. slaving for us another half of her life and slaving for our grandchildren the extended half of her life? do you reckon we'd want to be housewives willingly with no compromise or help to offload the burden we've seen descend on our mothers? it's not like 'oh with today's pampering we can't achieve what they've achieved'. it's more so of 'oh hell no way i am going through what she went through'. and why should we give up our youth for the next generation when we're still clueless about the life we want to lead. that my dear is what i call evolution of thoughts!!
plus we are still living off our parents. this doesn't give us any maneuvering space for independence nor reason to self-examine the path we've taken to know exactly what we want. yet we've seen the worst case scenarios and read enough about broken families and failed marriages. the rational ones don't submit to love easily. they look at a potential candidate and consider if this man can provide a future for the family. what's wrong with that? they choose to remain single rather than to depend on a person they deemed unworthy. what's wrong with that? should they then get married for the sake of queuing for a hdb flat? now tell me what is wrong with that?
posted by novie @ 10:39 PM
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